The sight of an older man canoodling with a woman 20 or even 40 years his junior might cause a few sniggers of derision, but the ‘old goat and young (impressionable) woman’ dynamic can be deeply damaging for everyone concerned.
Throughout history, men have set their sights on younger women. Picasso, whose charisma and magnetic force had been irresistible to many throughout his life, famously seduced his second wife, Jacqueline Roque when he was 71 and she was just 25.
A more common modern-day scenario is what I call ‘revenge of the nerds’. A man who was far too studious and serious in his youth to hold much appeal to women of his own age might achieve success in later life and, enjoying a newfound prestige, suddenly find himself with access to the pretty young things who wouldn’t have given him a second glance before.
Another common driver is men who married their childhood sweetheart and then, 30 years later, feel compelled to play out the missed chances of a sexually active youth.
Charlotte Fox Weber says that throughout history, men have set their sights on younger women
Picasso famously seduced his second wife, Jacqueline Roque (pictured together), when he was 71 and she was just 25
A sudden determination to chase younger women can also be a knee jerk reaction to a damaged ego. When a man gets knocked off his pedestal by financial failure or 정품비아그라 humiliated by a messy divorce, 비아그라처방 he might look for solace and status in a younger model.
It’s a good idea to be alert to these potential drivers in a partner and to keep an eye out for telltale signs which may be completely innocent but which could also be red flags for a man involved with or trying to impress someone half his age.
He starts wearing skinny jeans
If your husband starts acting in an uncharacteristically vain way – smartening up his wardrobe, hitting the gym with previously absent enthusiasm – you have reason to suspect he might be peacocking for someone new. But if his new habits seem odd or ridiculous for a middle-aged man (perhaps he’s started dying his hair or investigating a hair transplant, switching his cap for a bucket hat and wearing Gymshark hoodies) there could be a younger woman on his radar.
He uses the words ‘rizz’, ‘bruh’ or ‘glazer’
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Unless his conversation is heavy with irony or laced with healthy sarcasm, use of popular teen slang terms such as ‘rizz’ (charismatic), ‘cheugy’ (cringey or awkward) or ‘slaps’ (great) in a middle-aged man is just not appropriate. Yes, a newly expanded vocabulary could be a sign that he’s trying (ineffectually) to sound relevant to his kids and their friends, but equally, he could be properly ‘delulu’ (delusional) about ‘catching some feels’ for someone way out of his age range.
He’s preoccupied by the sexual proclivities of young people
It’s very creepy when a grown man can’t stop talking about the ways youngsters have sex these days and you are right to be concerned if he’s telling lurid stories of what his grown-up children are up to, or relaying tales of the receptionist’s exuberant promiscuity. Whether he sounds envious or appalled, his intense interest could be a sign that he’s sailing a little too close to the wind.
He’s seeking a chemical fix
Trying to keep up with a younger woman can be exhausting for an older man, and he might find himself turning to chemical props such as cocaine or Viagra to help keep him going. Look out for tell-tale dilated pupils or gurning (clenching of the teeth and erratic and uncontrollable jaw movements, which could be the result of him pepping himself up with chemicals), or 시알리스 구입 a newfound ability to be the life and soul of the party when he’d previously be yawning before the end of the 10pm news.
He books tickets to a Vamps concert
It’s very creepy when a grown man can’t stop talking about the ways youngsters have sex these days, writes Charlotte Fox Weber (picture posed by models)
When your jazz-loving husband has spent the past decades bemoaning the way pop stars dress (‘Why on earth don’t those lads pull their trousers up?’), sing (‘How are we expected to understand any of those words?’) or perform (‘it’s so LOUD!’) you can be rightly suspicious if he books tickets to see 5 Seconds Of Summer or an overnight spot at Wireless Festival. There’s a subtle, but potentially sinister difference between a healthy appreciation of new music, and a slavish new devotion to synth-pop.
…and what to do if you suspect he is
Don’t try to play him at his game. A facelift and an exciting new wardrobe (for you) won’t work. Far better to sit down and talk. Tell him (gently) that his behaviour is embarrassing and disrespectful. Catch things early enough and this could provide a great opportunity for you both to talk about the passing of time and what it means to grow older – together.
As told to Louise Atkinson